As we approach Father’s Day, I am participating with four other bloggers in a series called Honoring the Man They Call Daddy.
Is your home a place that draws your husband home, whether he’s at work or out with the guys?
Even as I was writing that question, I was thinking, “Well, that’s how he should view it.”
But, like the first post in this series, this one isn’t written for our men; it’s written for us. So regardless of how our husband’s should view their roles as husband and father, we’re looking at the things we can do to honor them.
For most guys, home decor could matter less. Most men are content to sit back and let their wives make decorating decisions, as long as they get their comfy sports-watching chair.
I don’t happen to be married to one of those guys, and the truth is my husband makes most of the decor decisions in our home.
But this post isn’t really about home decor, either.
What it is about is creating a home that draws your husband home.
So how do we do that?
1. Make him feel respected with your words and actions.
We covered this in the first post, but show your husband you love and respect him by speaking kindly about him and to him, avoiding nagging, respecting his choices as an individual and a father, showing interest in his interests and serving him.
2. Don’t dump on him as he walks in the door.
I used to struggle with this one a lot. After a long day of balancing work, kids and a colicky baby by myself, Sean would walk in the door — after an equally long day of physically tiring work — and I would dump on him, both figuratively with my words and literally as I handed over the fussy baby. I’m sure he couldn’t wait to come home to that.
What he asked was that I give him just 15 minutes to sit, change his clothes and take a breather before I start dumping on him. Fair enough, right?
3. Respect his things.
I’ve said it before, but I think it’s important enough to repeat. There are some things I won’t declutter, and my husband’s stuff is at the top of the list. I might not understand why he still has t-shirts from when we were dating (yes, from 12 years ago!) or while he keeps, literally, hundreds of home design magazines. But it’s his stuff, and this is his home, so that’s his decision, not mine.
4. Give him space.
Give him space, as in time to himself, but also give him space, literally. Does your husband have a place for his things in your home? In our home, Sean’s space is this airplane hangar he’s created out of the otherwise unused basement foyer. Your husband’s space might be “Daddy’s chair” or a workshop or the basement or the kitchen. But we as women, especially if we’re the stay-at-home parent — tend to make our homes reflect us. We make it functional and pretty and good for the kids…but sometimes that means that our husbands are left without a place of their own. It doesn’t have to be huge or elaborate…just some space he can call his own.
5. Ask him.
Really, despite the stereotypes and standard sitcom characters on TV, our men are as different as we are as women, so the best thing you can do is ask. Ask him if there are things you can change about your afternoon routine to make your home more welcoming for him at the end of the day. Ask him if he’d like a workshop/sports room/whatever. Ask him if there’s anything about your home decor he’d like to change (and be ready for his honest answer!).
How do you make your home a welcoming place for your hubby?