As we approach Father’s Day, I am be participating with four other bloggers in a series called Honoring the Man They Call Daddy.
As we wrap up this series, we’re talking about the most important gift we can give our husbands…the gift of ourselves. I know as busy moms we’re already giving ourselves to our children, to our communities, to our churches and to various other activities and hobbies. But honoring, loving and respecting our husbands means making time for them as well.
Here are four ways to give your husband the gift of you:
Do your eyes light up when your husband walks into the room? Do you still laugh at his jokes? Is he the one you turn to when you’re upset or worried? Men need to be needed and want to be wanted (frankly, I think it’s true for men, women and children alike!), and everything we talk about really boils down to love.
Loving your husband passionately is one of the greatest gifts you can give him. It’s about a lot more than feelings; love is a choice we can make by the thoughts we think, the time we invest and the decisions we make!
How often do you focus on your husband and nothing else? How often do you set aside the chores and your own hobbies and interests to just spend time with him? We can argue all we want about the busyness of life and the number of things vying for our attention each day, but it doesn’t change the fact that you can honor your husband — and your marriage — by making time to be together without distractions.
It doesn’t mean you need a weekly date night, and it doesn’t have to be hours at a time, but our husbands deserve our attention. Look him in the eyes. Show interest in the things he shares with you. Pay attention to his wants and likes and surprise him with an unexpected gift from time to time.
We’ve touched on respect already, but it really can’t be overstated. Give your husband the gift of you, not just by loving him or spending time with him, but also by respecting him. Respect his decisions. Respect his parenting. Respect his efforts. Respect him as a person.
Intimacy takes a lot of different forms but includes your deepest secrets, your inside jokes and, of course, sex. It’s something that is shared just between the two of you and not with other people. It’s knowing each other better than anyone else does. It’s making time for sex because it knits you closer together. It’s laughing together. And it’s holding hands, rubbing his head, cuddling and hugging.
Marriage is Like Thanksgiving Dinner
I’m probably going to butcher this analogy, but when I was in high school, our pastor’s wife spoke about it this way: She said she wanted her marriage to be like Thanksgiving dinner. You know how it is, right? By the time you’re done eating all that Thanksgiving dinner has to offer, you can’t even think about other food.
In the same way, we should be filling our husbands up in our relationship so they will be so full they won’t even want to look at a McDonald’s sundae. Enough said.
I really love Thanksgiving dinner, so that analogy has always resonated with me. I want to fill my husband up — not just with the turkey (respect?), not just with mashed potatoes and stuffing (love?), not just with green bean casserole (attention?) or pumpkin pie (intimacy?), but with the whole shebang. And I want to keep him coming back for more.
Do I always do it well? No. I wish I did, because he’s amazing, and he deserves it. But I’m trying.
How do you give your husband the gift of you?