Yesterday, Sean and I celebrated our 9th anniversary!
In some ways it seems like just yesterday that we were teenagers falling in love, and in others it’s as if we’ve spent our whole lives together. We’ve been through good times and rough patches, and even now when our marriage is strong, we find that we have to be intentional about making time for each other and making our marriage a priority, or we can easily slip into apathy and begin moving apart rather than growing closer together.
About 15-Minute Marriage Makeover
All of us invest time and energy in the things that matter to us and that we’re passionate about, but sometimes our marriage falls to the bottom of that list rather than being placed at the top.
Dustin opens 15-Minute Marriage Makeover with this sentence: “(S)omeone told me that investing just 15 minutes each day in a passion would allow anyone to achieve greatness.” Although it didn’t happen right away in his own life, that principle became the foundation of his efforts to improve his marriage and, eventually, this ebook.
If you’re willing to invest 15 minutes a day, though, there is hope for a stronger, more fulfilling marriage for you and your spouse. And even if things are okay or good now, investing 15 minutes a day can make them even better.
In 15-Minute Marriage Makeover, Dustin walks you through four pillars of a strong marriage in just 15 minutes a day across four weeks, and these will be the basis for our weekly discussions as well:
1. Communication that Counts
2. Real Romance for Real Busy Couples
3. Better Sex and Deeper Intimacy
4. Control Your Finances…Together
Note: You may find it easier to begin each week on Sunday, which will put the last lesson of each pillar on Saturday, when you may have more time and flexibility to devote to that longer lesson. If that doesn’t work for you, though, you can certainly adapt it to fit your schedule!
If you haven’t yet gotten your copy of 15-Minute Marriage Makeover, Dustin is offering Life Your Way readers a special price of $7.99 this month with coupon code life!
How This Works
Here’s how this works:
- I will share this week’s discussion questions in three ways: in this post, as a printable PDF page and in the comments, with one comment per question.
- Using the “threaded comments” feature, you will be able to respond to a specific question so that your comment is threaded or nested underneath that question. Just click Reply under the comment you’re responding too so that we can see that thread. Other people can also respond to your comment in the same way, so that hopefully we’ll get an actual discussion going rather than just one long comment thread!
- Please take time not just to share your own answers, but also to read other people’s answers and ask questions, share encouragement and more.
- Don’t forget to download your free printable resources at the end as well!
Okay, let’s get this thing started!
Week 1 Discussion Questions
The focus this week is on communication, including making time to just talk, fighting fair, asking for — and offering — forgiveness, affirming your spouse and being upfront with your wants and needs.
1. How hard is it to find 15 minutes in your schedule to focus on your spouse/marriage?
Do you regularly spend at least 15 minutes a day focused only on each other, or is this a new concept for you? If you’ve tried to do this in the past, was it hard to stick to? When was your last actual “date night” (at home or out on the town)?
2. When you and your spouse are alone, what do you talk about?
Do you fall into the trap of only talking about the kids? Does the idea of “just talking” stress you out or feel awkward? What topics do you enjoy talking about the most together?
3. Do you regularly affirm and thank your spouse? Do you let your spouse know what you want/need from him/her?
How often do you say thank you for the little things your spouse does? Do you get upset when he or she doesn’t know what you want without you spelling it out for them? How do you feel when your spouse takes the time to say thank you to you?
4. Do you fight fairly, or do your fights tend to turn ugly? When you apologize, do you take the time to do it sincerely or is it a quick, “I’m sorry” and then you move on?
Have you taken the time to put “rules of engagement” in place? Is it hard for you to look your spouse in the eye to acknowledge that you’ve hurt them and ask for forgiveness? Are you holding on to old hurts?
Week 1 Resources
Download or print these free resources for this week’s exercises:
Looking forward to the discussion!