As a parent, you likely try to be the best you can be at your job. However, you might not realize that some of your actions could cause more harm than benefit. There are a few ways you can stop harming your kids with bad habits and start helping them.
Not Teaching Responsibility
Kids should learn from a young age that nothing comes free, including their food and shelter. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have fun and be kids. But they can also learn to help out around the house, including picking up after themselves and contributing to the house in other ways. They will take on more responsibilities as they get older, such as doing their laundry and helping with dishes. This also helps them learn important life skills.
Let them know they will need to find work to support themselves after finishing school. Even if they live at home, they shouldn’t be allowed to do their own thing all day. You may encourage them to go to college, depending on their career goals. Since this can be an expensive undertaking, you may want to consider helping pay for their education. You can use a low-rate Private parent loan to help cover part or all of the cost of their education.
Feeling Like a Failure
It is relatively common to be hard on yourself as a parent, but that doesn’t mean you should fail your children. Don’t beat yourself up over the little things. Instead, think of these mistakes as a way to learn and grow in your parenting skills. Of course, some days will be better than other ones since your kids might not behave or you may make mistakes. But try to forgive yourself, move on from these mistakes, and focus on things you and your kids do well. Your kids can also see that you make mistakes but can learn from these things. Show your kids that you can grow. This allows them to persevere even when they are making mistakes.
Not Focusing on Your Marriage
It is easy for you and your spouse to focus on your kids without paying attention to your marriage. You may find that you and your partner fight over the little things, and your children will pick up on this. When the kids are grown, and you are empty nesters, you may find there is nothing of your relationship left. Be diligent about finding ways to keep your marriage strong long-term. Small investments now will make a huge difference in the long run.
It’s a good idea to start planning date nights together – take some time for just the two of you. Even if you and your partner are just sitting at home talking, make sure you spend some time together. The kids should know that this time belongs to you and your partner, not them. They should not interrupt you unless there is an emergency. By showing your kids that your marriage is a priority for both of you, you can help create a stable home environment.