It is one of those things that can really sneak up on you, but before you know, the time comes when your child is ready to move out of the family home and into their own. It is a process that can come with a wide range of different emotions, from pride to panic (and sometimes relief, if you have been ready for your child to move out for a little while!), but mostly you just want to make sure that they have all the tools they need to make this move a success.
Now, it goes without saying that you don’t want to smother them. You also don’t want to make it so that they rely on you for absolutely everything. There’s a big difference between making sure that they can do their own laundry and doing their laundry for them, for example. But there are several useful things that you can give them and many helpful tips that you can impart which will give them the best possible start to life in their new home. Here are a few ideas to help you help them.
View The Property With Them
This point can be a little sensitive, as you don’t want to be hovering over their shoulder the whole time. After all, the whole point is that this is a property that they will choose for themselves. But if they are OK with it, you can be a big help by taking a backseat during viewing and looking for problem areas that they might not have thought of. After all, we had all lived in enough homes with serious issues that we wished we had spotted before signing that agreement! Talk to them beforehand and clarify that you aren’t there to influence their decision one way or another. If they tell you that they still want to fly solo, then you can still write them a list of tips like “look for damp.”
Help Them Get The Bills Set Up
Once you have moved house a few times, you get to know the routine a little better, and you can start to get out in front of some of the more time-consuming admin issues. If this is your first time, it can be easy to let some of those things slip. So, without wanting to tell your child what to do, it is a good idea to remind them fairly early on in the process that they will need to get their bills set up ahead of time. If they need a little extra incentive, remind them that it always takes longer than you think it should get your home broadband set up. That should light a fire under them!
Help Your Child With The Move
It does not matter how old you are or how many times you’ve done it. You will never, ever turn down the offer of help with the actual moving part of moving into a new home. Your child may not have accumulated the entire life’s worth of possessions that start to stack up once you start living by yourself, but they will almost certainly have enough to appreciate a little help with the boxes. If it is a situation where the trunk of your car won’t be big enough to handle it all, help them with booking the movers. Moving house is always stressful, and if you can get it all done in one day, it makes a huge difference.
Remind Them That They Need A Proper Workspace
We don’t want to generalize and say that your kid is probably more interested in getting their TV and games console set up before anything else. However, there are always parts of a new home that are more exciting to sort out than others, and it might be the case that they have not put “home office” at the top of their to-do list. Now, many businesses have started opening up their offices again, but it certainly looks like many of us will be continuing to work from home for the near future, at least. With that in mind, you will want to make sure that your child has a proper space established to work from. Again, you don’t want to cross the line into dictating what should go where and what they should be doing with space, but a gentle reminder can go a long way.
Stock Them Up On Cleaning Products
We are not here to suggest that your child does not know how to clean their home properly. With a fair amount of confidence, we will suggest that you, their parent, have probably been doing the vast majority of their cleaning and household maintenance jobs for them while living with you. They might be completely ready to take that responsibility on themselves, but your child could probably use a little help getting started when they move.
One of the helpful things you can do for your child as part of the move is to pick them up (or pick them out, if they want to pay for them) some useful cleaning supplies. That can range from everything from washing up liquid and laundry detergent to sponges, dust cloths, and more. It helps to remind them of the areas they will need to keep a regular eye on, particularly the kitchen and the bathroom. Something like a drain protector is a great little moving-in gift if you know that they aren’t going to be cleaning out their sinks and showers once a week. The Shroom Company has a whole range of household items to help your child keep their new home clean.
Remind Them That You Are Still Going To Be Around To Talk And To Help
No one wants to be the parent that won’t stop dropping by to visit their kids even though they moved out months ago. No child wants to be constantly fielding calls from their parent after they have taken this important step in their independent adult life. But the fact of the matter is that the last year and more has been incredibly tough on everyone, and when you are having a hard time, it is not always easy to reach out and let people know how you are doing.
The statistics have shown that young people have been particularly hard hit by the mental health effects of the pandemic, and it is only natural that you are going to be worrying about how they are doing when they are all by themselves. So, without smothering them or making them feel like they need to be calling you once a day, find a way to remind them that just because you are no longer sharing a physical space does not mean that they cannot reach out to you if they need to. So much of dealing with your child moving out is about finding the right balance between checking in and being too present. With that being said, you may well have some unexpected feelings about them leaving home, so try not to overthink it. You might need to get in touch with them sometimes too, and that’s fine!
Featured Photo by Avelino Calvar Martinez from Burst