The phone sits my bed.
The light of the new day shines in, and as my grogginess subsides, my hand reaches for the phone. Instinctively. I’m not even thinking about it.
First, I check my email. Then maybe Twitter or Facebook, and Instagram. I check my email again.
I look over and my husband is doing the same thing. Scroll, scroll, scroll.
This is how we have been waking up.
I put my phone down and think. Head on my pillow, warm covers all around, I remember something my mentor said to me. “I don’t even look at my phone until after I’ve had my quiet time. I need to get quiet with God before I get online.”
My mentor is full of grace and wisdom. She wouldn’t tell anyone else that they had to follow her way; we each have to figure out our lives before God. But what she says about spending time with God in the quiet before the day takes off and the online pull begins, she gets centered. I am drawn to this; I want it too.
Why is it so hard to disconnect?
I have been thinking a lot lately about my life and how I want to live and what memories I hope my children will hold of me. Will they remember me constantly on the phone?
Or will they remember me playing with them, cuddling, reading, cleaning, going places and spending time with their daddy? Will they remember me working too much?
I know I can’t give them perfect memories because I’m not a perfect mom, but I do want to be intentional with the pictures of my life.
I want to pay attention, daily, to how I’m spending my time. How I spend my time will add up to my life, and it is just this one earthly life that I have. How do I really want to live it?
My babes are important to me, and I want them to grow up knowing how to live a real life in the real world. I want them to have strong, lovely memories of me because I know they will be healthier for it, emotionally and spiritually.
How much time I spend online means something to them, and it means something to me.
I want to live where God has placed me, with the people He’s placed me with. I want to get outside myself and get uncomfortable and do things that matter. In the real world. For real, hurting people.
And for the people in my care.
That’s why it’s important to use this gift of time well, because it all adds up to something or nothing. And I want something.
I want beautiful somethings, a life well-spent, pictures that reflect an intentional, satisfied life.
This morning the light woke me early, around 5:30am.
My phone sat on my night stand, where it always is, but this time I didn’t pick it up.
I went upstairs, made some tea, and cuddled into my quiet time spot, and I wrote. Pen on paper, I cleared out my morning thoughts, and then I picked up my Bible and read. I’ve been enjoying the Psalms as of late.
For nearly an hour I just got quiet and centered, and it felt good.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with scrolling through your phone in the morning, or whenever you want. That’s not the point. The point is, what do you want? How do you want to live? What do you need in order to create the pictures of your life that are worth passing on? And where does that begin?
For me, it begins in the quiet. It begins when I seek my God and get centered. It begins when I connect with Him before I connect with anything else.
ACTIVITES & QUESTIONS
- Do you start your day with your phone in your hand? If so, what draws you to your phone as soon as you wake up?
- What activities would better reflect your hopes for your day and your life? Do you think starting your day with these things rather than your phone can make a difference?
- CHALLENGE: Commit to waiting an hour after you wake up each morning to look at your phone for at least 7 days. Can you do it?