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Divorces are devastating because no one wants to leave the life they have lived and a partner they have been together with for years or decades. However, divorce is sometimes necessary, but the proceedings can be messy. Navigating the complex legal process requires thorough preparation in order to handle both foreseeable and unexpected challenges. It also requires hiring a qualified and experienced divorce attorney to help with the process. Here are some additional tips that can help you with this process.

Talk to Your Partner Only When You are Ready to File

Telling your partner that you are divorcing them will hurt. They may react by moving assets, planning to file before you do, or positioning themselves with the children so they can take them and hurt you in return. While most people are decent and will not do this, you will never know how they would react if you never planned on divorcing them.

Instead of facing difficulties when the proceedings start, take your time and plan things carefully. Only file a divorce and tell your partner about it when your affairs are in order. It may seem or feel like you are hiding something important from them, but all you are doing is protecting yourself and your interests.

Communicate Openly, Honestly, and Positively

Once you initiate the divorce process, your partner may not want to talk to you. However, you want them to because open, honest, and positive communication is part of the divorce process. You will need to talk to them to schedule different meetings, get and file certain papers, and sort out support for them and custody of your children.

If you cannot do this, it is best to let your lawyers do it for you. Doing this has the added benefit of helping you avoid saying something you don’t mean to due to heightened emotions and the situation itself. All of this should help you end things amicably with a smooth divorce process. It should also help you keep a positive relationship with your partner through the divorce and after it.

Hire an Attorney Early and Listen to Them

Hiring a divorce attorney can be expensive, but it is the best thing to do. Listening to what your partner and their attorney tell you is never a good idea because they do not have your best interest in mind. They will not protect you or put your needs first because, in most cases, they are trying to end up in a better situation than you once the divorce is done.

Research divorce attorneys in your area by yourself and then check the cases they have handled. Most attorneys are happy to show the results they have gotten for their clients, and you will know what to expect when you hire them as soon as you visit their website or contact them.

Although not everyone is malicious, you should be very concerned and suspicious if your partner tells you not to hire an attorney. It is often the case that those who ask their partners to do this have something to hide.

Find and Organize All Relevant Documents Early

Being efficient and thorough during divorce proceedings can help you save money because it ensures a faster process. If you do not have your documents in order or send them in a mess to your attorney, it will take much longer for them to go through everything and sort it out for you.

Start gathering all relevant documents as early as possible and make copies. If you need to edit some documents, you can convert them from PDF to Word easily using Small PDF. However, do not try to change crucial information because that could be considered deceitful and cause things to go badly for you.

Once you have gathered all documents, including bank statements, past tax returns, retirement account information, life insurance policies, mortgage documents, credit and debit card statements, and others, make copies and store them safely.

If your partner is self-employed, try to gather as much information as possible about their business. Also, remember to collect and make copies of all documents stored on home devices or around the house.

Focus on Your Children

Divorce is particularly difficult for children who might not understand what is happening and why it is happening. The couple should discuss how they will minimize the proceeding’s impact on the children. 

Being together, showing strength, and ensuring your children understand that the divorce has nothing to do with them will go a long way to reassuring and making things easier for them. Also, avoid asking your children to pick a side or suggesting it to them. Doing so will do a lot of harm to them because they will always wonder if they made the right choice.

Avoid involving them in the proceedings or your battle because that will create emotional scars and issues that might take years to resolve.

Have a Financial Plan

One of the worst things you can do when getting divorced is not having the financial resources to pay for an attorney and to survive. If you are the spouse with lesser financial resources, save enough money to live on for at least three months, as well as to pay for an attorney, at least partially. Some attorneys accept a partial payment until the divorce is done, and they can help you avoid financial difficulties until that time. If you cannot do this, ask your attorney if they can help you find financial support.

Avoid Dating During the Divorce Proceedings

Any behavior that reflects poorly on you will make things much harder. You can expect your spouse to mention this and use it to show that you never took the marriage seriously and could not wait to get out of it. Although there is no law against dating while getting divorced, it is better to hold off seeking or entering into new relationships until the divorce is finalized.

Keep Yourself Safe

Domestic violence is one of the most common reasons for filing for divorce. If there is a history of it in your marriage, it might escalate when you file. Find somewhere safe to stay during the proceedings. While you might consider filing for protection, that is not always the thing to do unless necessary. Cutting your partner off from the house and children often leads to messy and complicated divorces, and this is something you should try to avoid.

Any decisions you make will have long-term consequences on your life and those of your loved ones, so get advice from an attorney on what to do. They might also recommend ways to keep yourself safe and avoid an abusive situation.

Get Support from Family and Friends

You will need support to get through the divorce because the process is messy, and you are restarting your life without your partner. Such support is also crucial for stopping you from second-guessing yourself and stopping the divorce. Many people feel they have lost something by leaving their partners, but there are good reasons you considered divorce in the first place.

No one wants to go through a divorce, but it is sometimes required, especially in cases of domestic abuse. It is best to keep things as simple as possible to avoid a complicated, messy, and drawn-out process that causes additional pain and grief. It is also a good idea to hire an experienced attorney to guide you through this process and get the best outcome.

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