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{30} Questions to Ask to Evaluate Your Family Life

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I am counting down the days to my 30th birthday, and I couldn’t be more excited! Truly! As I was brainstorming ways to celebrate here on the blog, I couldn’t help but think that 30 lists of {30} items would be just about perfect for my type-A, list-making self. Join me for the next month as I share the things I’ve learned in the past 30 years and my hopes for the future! See all 30 Days of {30} posts here.

I’m far from perfect as a wife and mother, but I’m determined to keep trying and improving! I honestly think one of the signs of a great mom (or wife, friend, businessperson, or whatever) is a willingness to evaluate, grow, and change. No one is perfect, and perfection shouldn’t even be a goal since it’s impossible to achieve, but that shouldn’t be used as an excuse not to try to do better.

Instead, I try to objectively evaluate the things I’m doing and be open to feedback from others — through blog posts, books, casual conversations, and asking the people I trust for their thoughts — so that I am (hopefully) always growing and improving.


Here are 30 questions to help you evaluate your family life:

1. What is your biggest strength as a parent?

2. What is your biggest weakness?

3. What do you do that you always said you wouldn’t do?

4. What don’t you do that you always said you would?

5. How have you grown as a parent or spouse over the past year? How about the past five years?

6. What triggers you to yell or get impatient? What could you do to prevent those triggers?

7. What are each of your children’s biggest strengths?

8. What are their weaknesses?

9. Where are you inconsistent in your expectations of your kids?

10. What memories do you hope your children have of this year? Of their childhood in general?

11. Where do you see everybody in 5 years? In 10 years?

12. Where have you put unrealistic expectations on your kids?

13. Where are you not expecting enough from them?

14. How do you make your marriage a priority in your busy life?

15. In what ways do you treat strangers better than those closest to you?

16. How could you show your kids grace when they mess up?

17. How can you respect your kids’ individuality?

18. Does the way you spend your time reflect your stated priorities?

19. What time wasters take away from the things that are really important?

20. Do you handle disagreements or arguments in a mature and healthy way?

21. Do you have boundaries in place to protect your family time and values?

22. How often do you spend one-on-one time with each of your kids?

23. Does technology play a healthy or unhealthy role in your family?

24. What do you need to make more time for?

25. Do your children and spouse know you love and value them?

26. What are the love languages of the other people in your family? How can you speak those languages?

27. How can you be more intentional about spending time together?

28. What issues or struggles leave you feeling overwhelmed? Is there a mentor or counselor you could talk to about them?

29. Do you choose contentment or discontentment on a daily basis?

30. What do you most enjoy and appreciate about each person in your family?

What other questions would you add to the list?