If the recent news is anything to go by, then ending a marriage amicably is by far the best option for both parties. Unfortunately, it is much easier said than done in most cases. Nevertheless, here are a few pointers to keep in mind that can improve your chances.
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Keep the Noise Down
There are a million questions and doubts that might be keeping you awake about the decision itself. There is a good reason for that. You are on your way toward taking one of the biggest steps of your life. Before discussing it with anyone else, take some time and think of the pros, cons, potential impacts, immediate effects, long-term effects, etc.
The more people you discuss it with, the more bitter things are likely to get. A time for discussions will come, but not before you are sure about the decision yourself. Unless you are a victim of domestic abuse, there is always cause to rethink before taking such an important decision. If domestic violence is involved, skip this step, and move on to step two.
Seek Legal Counsel
If there is due cause to worry about your safety or that of your children, seek police help and legal counsel immediately. If there is no violence involved, but you have still decided in favor of going through with the divorce, an amicable ending is still possible. Meet with a specialized divorce lawyer and discuss your situation.
If you are in London, work with London-based divorce lawyers like Cordell & Cordell. Given that the entire law firm is completely dedicated to Family Law rest assured that they should be able to help you take the best approach and end the marriage as amicably as possible. You can schedule a meeting with them online and enjoy capped fees. If the situation allows for it and your attorneys advise you, talk to your partner about the divorce.
Do Not React Aggressively Under Provocation
It does not matter who is right and who is wrong if you wish to end a marriage amicably. Before you tell your partner about your decision, accept a basic fact of human nature that people will always put themselves first. The same is likely true for yourself as well.
Since you are the one breaking the news or taking the decision to separate first, emotional reactions and possibly some aggression is to be expected. Do not react. Walk away if you feel provoked. On the other hand, if your partner agrees with the decision or asks for some time to think about their own decision, allow them the space they need. As long as your goal is to get a divorce on amicable terms, it is important that you don’t end up antagonizing them in any possible way.
Don’t Deliver the News Alone if there is Due Cause to Suspect a Violent Reaction
If emotional aggression has a chance of turning into violence, it might be better not to deliver the news alone. If there is due cause for you to feel apprehensive about violent behavior, DO NOT deliver the news alone. It will be ideal to go with someone your partner knows and sees in a good light.
Note that the above advice is not applicable if the person in question has a violent streak and a history of domestic abuse. In such cases, let your divorce attorneys handle it. A “direct confrontation” in any potentially hostile scenario, whether your partner has a history of violence or not, is inadvisable. Although you cannot control your partner’s behavior, you can still be as amicable as possible without jeopardizing your safety and future wellbeing in any way.
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