Marriages are created in heaven, but they are lived on earth, where most issues arise. Despite your greatest efforts, things do not always work out. While you may have entered the marriage intending to remain blissfully married for the rest of your life, reality may not have been so kind. Regardless of your best efforts, divisions emerge, and before you realize it, things have reached a tipping point.
Every marriage is different – you knew that going in. But how can you tell if you’re just going through the motions or if you and your partner are having serious issues? It’s not as simple as determining whether your partner is physically or emotionally abusive: There are considerably more prevalent and subtle signs that a marriage is crumbling. And it isn’t always because of abuse; there are many reasons why a marriage may be failing. For instance, considering the gradual decline in divorce rates per 1000 people in the U.S. from 2000 to 2022, which dipped to a low of 2.3 by 2020 before slightly increasing to 2.4 by 2022, societal attitudes towards marriage may be evolving, reflecting potential improvements in relationship quality or access to marital support resources.
Accepting that your marriage has issues is one thing; determining that your marriage is over is quite another. However, disregarding the facts will not change the situation. Rather, you must face the realities and decide on your next steps. Continue reading to learn about the subtle symptoms that your marriage may be on its way out.
Table of Contents
You’re Living as if You’re A Single Person Rather Than a Married Person
Single living can be wonderful, with minimal duties to others aside from making sure your payments are paid on time. If you’re married but still act as if you’re not in a serious relationship, that’s a significant red flag.
It is completely OK for a spouse to go out with some single buddies. However, suppose that is your weekly go-to, and you start hanging out in singles areas (i.e., singles clubs/bars, singles destinations, or interacting with the opposite sex knowing they are single). In that case, it is a sign that you want a different lifestyle.
Furthermore, appearing as if you’re single can be a symptom of growing disdain for your spouse. Marriage, on the other hand, necessitates true respect for the other person to grow and prosper.
There Is a Communication Breakdown
No relationship can survive without good and open communication. When it comes to marriages, this is especially true. Open communication with your partner is one of the most crucial prerequisites for a successful marriage.
It is a different matter if you both agree or disagree with something. However, you must communicate and share your thoughts. At the same time, it is critical to listen to and comprehend what your partner is saying. Communication, after all, is a two-way street. If communication breaks down, it’s a sure sign that things aren’t working out between you two.
Inadequate Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy between a couple, without a doubt, fosters lovingness, closeness, and a sense of belonging. It is an efficient nonverbal approach for couples to express their feelings. Physical closeness can take many forms, including a loving hug, a soft touch, a deep kiss, and holding hands. Sex is another effective way to share physical intimacy with your spouse.
If your marriage lacks physical intimacy, it is one of the tell-tale indicators that your marriage may be on its way out. Sure, you and your partner may not have sex every night. However, if the activity is lacking from your life for months on end, including minor physical acts, you must acknowledge that all is not right in your marriage. And a divorce might be the only way left. Let’s learn what is an uncontested divorce.
You No Longer Share Anything
If you don’t share your feelings, ideas, anxieties, and daily experiences with each other, it suggests you don’t value each other’s presence in your life. Communication is essential for relieving stress and strengthening your relationship with your partner. If one partner refuses to discuss or hear the other’s emotions, it is a definite sign of a split.
You Are Uninterested in Each Other
You not only don’t share with your spouse, but you also don’t care what’s going on in their lives. This demonstrates your disinterest in your companion. The best part about marriage is having someone to talk to and listen to. Something is wrong in your relationship if neither of you attempts to learn about the other.
You’re Engaged in an “Emotional Affair”
Suppose you find yourself talking or texting with someone you wouldn’t want your spouse to see. If you start meeting up with someone you fantasize about cheating with regardless of whether or not there was any physical intimacy, you are putting your marriage at risk. These are signs your marriage is on its way out.
If you have consistent ideas about cheating on your spouse in general (regardless of whether you act on them), you may need to analyze why you are having these thoughts so that you can enhance the health of your marriage if you so wish.
No Enthusiasm About a Future Together
When you exchange your wedding vows, you agree to stay with each other for the rest of your lives. You have a positive outlook on your future with your partner. It is typical to fantasize about a future in which you live with your spouse and future children, go on road trips, vacation together, and do other things.
However, if you believe that your future vision does not include your spouse, it is important to take a step back and evaluate your current circumstances. It could be an indication that you don’t picture yourself sharing a future with your partner.
You’re Making Important Financial Decisions Without Informing Your Partner
Is it acceptable to keep separate bank accounts or make regular Starbucks runs without informing your spouse first? Without a doubt. However, suppose you’re making large purchases—a motorcycle here, an all-expenses-paid solo vacation there—without even thinking about asking your spouse. In that case, that’s one of several signals your marriage is on its way out. In reality, money problems are a major cause of marital dissolution.
Spending Time With Each Other Feels Like a Chore
Even if they are in a great marriage, everyone craves some alone time. However, this should not be confused with a struggle to spend time together. When you’re married, you shouldn’t feel awkward being with each other. It is not normal to hunt for reasons to spend time apart from your spouse. Rather, you should be excited to spend time together. However, if this does not occur and you feel that spending time together is nothing short of work for you, it may indicate that your marriage is gone.
Emotional Abuse Exists
There is no justification for emotional abuse in a marriage. If your partner constantly makes you feel guilty or undeserving, it is an indication that your marriage has reached rock bottom. Manipulation, insulting, and irrational arguments are frequently used in such situations.
Rather than closing your eyes and hoping for the best, you must admit that things have spiraled out of control and accept responsibility for your life. Sacrificing your self-esteem to save your marriage is not a good decision, especially if the damage has already been done.
There is a Breakdown of Trust
One of the most important things in making a marriage succeed is trust. Loss of trust necessitates a rethinking of one’s marriage. If your lover has cheated on you once, decide to forgive. However, if your partner is a regular cheater, it is time to wake up and face the truth of your marriage.
Counseling is No Longer Effective
You and your partner had previously attended counseling sessions, attempted to reconcile and live together, but the relationship had broken up too many times to fix. If you’ve attempted couples counseling and haven’t seen any progress, it’s time to reconsider your marriage.
It is important to note that just a couple of these indications may not indicate that your marriage is in trouble. However, if you notice multiple indications working against you, it’s time to ask yourself some probing questions. Also, if you have been a victim of domestic abuse, that may be enough to raise the red flag.
One of The Partners Has Already Given Up
If one of you has already given up on the other, the other has no recourse. If your partner refuses to talk about the issues, seeks counseling, and walks away or ignores everything you try to do, it indicates that hope is fading in the marriage. It takes two individuals to create an issue between them, and two people fix it.
To Summarize
Ending a marriage does not imply the end of your life. It entails closing a sad chapter of your life to begin a better one. However, if you still believe that your marriage is worth saving, you should give it a shot. If nothing else, you will be able to tell yourself that you did your best and finally put an end to the relationship. It may be a challenging period, but keep in mind that you know what to do. It may be difficult to do the right thing, but it will eventually pave the path for a happy and fulfilled future.
Featured Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash
