“You don’t understand, my husband is such a jerk. I regret marrying him.”
No woman wants to be in this position. No one gets happily married for more than ten years to decide that things are not working out. During the pandemic, stress levels are increasing, and it is important not to fall to any hasty conclusions beforehand. Here are a few traps a person in an unhappy marriage gets into.
We tried – it won’t get better.
A man marries a woman, hoping that she will never change (preserves the youth and same looks), and a woman marries a man, hoping that he will change. No one is thinking of a divorce when they get married.
Understanding the differences in nature between a man and a woman is critical. What happens is when a woman also demands the position of authority and decision-making at home, it becomes a chaotic environment with two equal partners making and fighting for many decisions.
This is also a “tricky mindset” as it requires the other party to make amends, but one party is always right.
I made a mistake marrying him.
Many women are convinced that they made a wrong call and that their husbands are not the correct ones for them. We believe that all marriages can work out for good as long as they follow the design God has given for them. It does require work on both sides.
This mindset leads to a divorce because the person has made a judgment and conclusion about the spouse. The three biblical grounds for divorce are:
Matthew 19:9: “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
Notice that Jesus Himself says it is a sin if a man divorces his wife, except fornication. The statement made by Jesus is literal and applies even to our timeline this day.
- Physical abuse
1 Corinthians 7:10,15: “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases : but God hath called us to peace.”
The spouse is not to leave the other, but if the other half wants to depart, let him/her be so that we can have peace. God commands us to rejoice and have peace. If our spouse happens to be abusive and puts our peace and safety into jeopardy, God allows us to depart from the relationship. This is known as desertion.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”
It clearly says that each spouse’s body also belongs to the other, and it should be treated with good care.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
That said, the Bible shows us that God sees marriages as holy gifts and that should be enjoyed and preserved. God does not ask for divorce or desertion from the very beginning, but instead, He wants every couple in marriage to fulfill their obligation and duty.
In most cases when thinking of divorce, they exclude the above conditions. It is worth looking into what may make a marriage work!
Do you have an idealistic picture of a marriage that requires little to no work? All marriages require work from both sides. That’s because both parties need to work on themselves before they try to affect change on the other side.
A marriage that endures and is in love understands that a long relationship stands on sacrificial love. That’s what makes it so hard and yet so rewarding.
There are times when divorce is necessary, such as abuse. Learn how to be prepared if you think you should go down the road to divorce.
Featured Image by Armando Orozco from Pixabay